Rowyn (rowyn) wrote,

Writing Exercise: Off -kilter

Only two exercises left in the "bad writing" section. Aww! I think I'm gonna miss these.

The next one is "compose a response to a neighbor's complaint about your early-morning bagpipe practice, as if you were a sociopath".

Dear Neighbor:

I am most dreadfully sorry to learn that you and your family do not enjoy my the bagpipe concerts I give at 4AM in my living room. The bagpipe is, truly, one of the most magnificent of instruments. I find that, whenever other people cannot appreciate it, tragedy, inevitably, follows.

Perhaps you will enjoy the process of constructing a bagpipe more: the tender care that goes into crafting the bladder, from only the very finest and most supple of leathers. Have I mentioned what soft skin your young daughter has? Bagpipes nowadays use a variety of substances for the reed -- synthetics are popular -- but I find nothing gives quite the resonance that bone does. You drink a lot of milk, don't you?

In any case, I am sure you will come around in time. Hopefully, you will find tomorrow's 2AM concert on your lawn more to your liking. If not, I hope you will use the enclosed skin conditioners and calcium supplements. Good preparation can never start too early!

Yours truly,
Donald McGillavry

The last exercise is "make up and write your own bad writing exercise". Haven't decided on one yet, but I'm leaning towards "poodling up" a straightforward paragraph. Or maybe I'll do a really, really bad MUCK character @desc. >:)
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