Rowyn (rowyn) wrote,
Rowyn
rowyn

Coming Out, Part Two

The last thing I came out about went a lot better than I expected it to. Maybe this one will, too. A lot more people already know it, at least.

Lt.Warhound and I have an open relationship. We always have, for the last eight years of our relationship. Longer, if you count the time when our FurryMUCK characters were in an open relationship online.*

The irony here is that one of the advantages to being in an open relationship is that if you get into another relationship, you don't have to hide it. Lut doesn't mind, so I don't need to keep it secret from him. And he's the only one whose opinion matters, right?

Except that I didn't want to tell people I was in an open relationship with Lut. So I've wound up hiding things anyway.

Getting pretty tired of hiding stuff. Some people are good at keeping secrets, but I'm not. Not good at hiding my feelings, anyway. Sometimes I wish I was, but I'm 34 and if I haven't figured it out yet, I doubt I ever will.

I used to tell myself, "It's nobody else's business, anyway." I suppose that's true. But the reason I didn't tell anyone isn't that I wanted privacy, but that I was afraid of what people would think. Of what my friends would think. Oh, I still want a little privacy, which is why I'm not going into many details of what sorts of other relationships Lut or I have had over the last eight years.**

But I am going to say this:

I love ltwarhound.

And I love koogrr.

And I am very happy that I am in the kind of relationship with both of them where that's OK.

* This fact is one of the reasons I don't call myself a Christian; one of those 'but I strongly disagree with this teaching' things that kept me from believing in Christ at all for so long. I do believe in Christ as Savior, but I know that some of my other beliefs are so wildly different from most Christians that I don't want to co-opt their label.

** Not very many. Trust me, we're not exciting swinger types.
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