January 24th, 2003

Me 2012

All Too Human

As another entry in the “strange misgivings” category (this is along the same lines as wondering if I picked the wrong name), I’d like to file my persistent self-identification as … well. Human.

Actually, it’s not that I’m all that stubborn about being human. When I played on FurryMUCK, my characters ran a gamut of largely-cute animal species: feline, mink, one non-anthro unicorn, a unicorn-feline-taur cross (my then-SO’s idea to produce offspring between two of our characters), caribou, dragon, and probably some others that escape me now. My sole PC on Sinai is a morphic mouse. My one remaining Furry character, Rowan, remains the most “personal” furry I’ve created, and she’s not human, either – she’s a shuggoth.

But I’ve played Rowan as a malleable-form creature, and she mostly pours herself into a “human-looking” mold of one sort or another.

When I was younger, I had a strong feline association. My first computer-handle (on the University’s local VAX and boards) was “Cat.” But something -- the exceedingly large number of felines in the furry community, maybe -- turned me off from continuing along those lines.

And now I find myself unable to pick a “look” and stick to it. I’d rather like to make a series of user icons depicting a single entity – but what kind? Humans are so dull. But I don’t think of myself as anything else. Not especially. I’m as much cat as dragon or unicorn or caribou. Or human.

So should I stick with the self-portrait theme I have now? That’s as much me as anything else, and it’s consistent. I don’t want to hare off with ten different pictures of ten different things, reflecting all the splinter forms of Rowan-as-shuggoth. Or all my different personas, either.

Not that this issue is really worth the space I’m taking to write it up. Well, I’ll do what I will do, and that’s that. And other redundancies, too.