March 6th, 2008

Me 2012

Alien Species

msagara had a link to this rather sad little article titled "Marry Him!"

It's an article that bothered me on a few levels, most conspicuously for the blind assertion that every single woman in the world desperately wants to have a baby and the only possible explanation for any protestations to the contrary is denial or deceit. But that point is so mind-bogglingly stupid that I won't comment on it further because really, what's to say? It's like arguing with The Truth.

No, the really sad part was the notion that imperfect people were unworthy of, and indeed impossible to, love.

I don't know if that's the impression Gottlieb meant to give, though it's certainly the one I got. The first half of her apparent message, 'Don't wait for Mr. Perfect' isn't bad, but the corollary she sets up for it -- 'take whoever you can sink your claws into' -- is just such a depressing way to look at other human beings.

I feel so far from Gottlieb's way of thinking that she might as well be an alien species. I don't want to have a baby, I don't want to get married, I'm not afraid of being alone, I've never understood the whole "dating" thing.

Of course, I'm not afraid of being alone because I've barely ever been alone. I think I've had maybe four months of being single, in the "no significant other" sense, in my adult life. I can't imagine having Gottlieb's problem of not being able to find someone worth loving. I don't understand how most people manage to stop finding people worth loving. There are so many of them out there, all you wonderful, sexy, imaginative, intelligent, creative people.

I can't imagine deciding I shouldn't love Lut because he didn't have a college degree. I mean, WTF? Do people really rate their prospective partners on these criteria? "Oh, I can't love him, he's a plumber"? "No, he doesn't like hiking, it'll never work"? How do you do that? What about all the amazing and unique talents that he does have? Why would it be "settling" to realize that you love someone who's not perfect? What, like you are?

Why would it be difficult to love someone who's not perfect?

Yeah ... alien species. I have no chance of relating.