February 4th, 2015

Me 2012

Take It Like a Dragon

I didn't want to go to work today. I thought about calling in sick, but there wasn't any point. I didn't really want to be at home, either. I didn't want to be anywhere. I might as well go to work and get paid to be somewhere.

I tried calling my brain instead. "Hello, brain? Look, I'm not gonna be able to be depressed today."

Brain: "WHAT?"

Me: "I've got things I have to do, and I just don't have time -- "

Brain: "Well you MAKE time! You've been not-depressed for months!"

Me: "See, about that, I was kind of hoping to stay that way -- "

Brain: "HAHA NO CHANCE. You don't get to call off from depression. DEPRESSION COMES TO WORK YOU."

Me: "No it doesn't! You're not the boss of me!"

Brain: "I totally am. Grow some scales and take your depression like a dragon."

Me (smiles): "'Dragon' is a way better metaphor for that than 'man'."

Brain: "Yeah it is -- hey! Stop with that smiling! You're scheduled for some depression here!"

Me: "Sorry. Taking it like a dragon. I'm just gonna fly around in here. Wheee!"

Brain: "Dammit. Don't think you're off the hook here! DEPRESSION WAITS."

Me: "Lalalala can't hear you, too busy breathing fire."