Rowyn (rowyn) wrote,
Rowyn
rowyn

Creating

I like illustrating.

Pretty much everything about it. I don't even care that much what medium I use. Sketching, painting, using pastels, markers, even digital can be fun. I just like making pictures. It's fun.

I don't have a lot of use for the pictures I make. I don't much like my own artwork. It's not that I hate it, but off the top of my head I can think of over half a dozen artists just from my LJ friends list whose art I'd rather hang on my walls. I don't have any of my own artwork hanging up now, in fact. Basically, I like making pictures but I don't particularly care about having made pictures. I get a modest degree of 'yay, I did something creative' satisfaction from it, and if someone else likes it then I'm happy to have made something nice for them. But I seldom have any use for my creations myself.

Writing is the opposite. Generally, I love my own writing. This is something writers are not supposed to admit, and heck maybe most of them don't feel it. Maybe they feel the same way about their books that I feel about my artwork. But I love my books. When I wrote Silver Scales, I was trying to write the sort of book I wanted to read, and I succeeded. Wildly. I've probably read that book a dozen times, not because I was editing it but because I was bored and felt like reading it, or because I was digging for some tidbit and wound up reading 200 pages before I found it. I adore that book. It's my favorite book ever. There, I said it: it's my favorite book ever and I wrote it. How many people can say that?

I'm not saying that it's great literature or amazingly well-written or anything. It's not a masterpiece for the ages. I have read hundreds of books which were deeper or more profound or had more style or wit or charm. It's just, well, Silver Scales is exactly the kind of book I enjoy reading. So I'm very glad to have written it.

But I don't like writing. Writing is work. It's tedious and I feel like I'm never going to finish anything and it goes on forever and this bit is sooooooo booooooooring I should skip it and go on to the next but I don't know what that is and oh man why am I bothering I should play another game of Race for the Galaxy instead.

Or paint a picture.

I'm not sure if this is a true-for-now thing or a true-for-always. Actually, I am sure: this is only a true-for-now thing. The bit about writing has been true for the last few years. The bit about art I only noticed sometime in January. Maybe if I made as many pictures as I've written pages, I'd be sick of drawing and painting too.

Maybe if I did a 30in30 for writing, I'd rediscover how to love writing again.

Maybe I'll try that some time this month. But first, I'm gonna finish this picture I'm working on.
Tags: writing about writing
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