Rowyn (rowyn) wrote,
Rowyn
rowyn

Wrung Out at Work

Been working on board reports all morning. Tedious, painstaking work with lots of fiddly bits to it. I'm nearly done for the day on those. Not done with them, no, but done for today. Which is good because I still have that other work to do -- you know -- the rest of my job. And by the time I can get to that, probably two or two and a half hours to do it in. Whee. I hope I don't have to work late. I think we're doing Mirari tonight, though I'm not sure. Even if I do have to work late, I should have plenty of time to make the game; I get out a good two hours earlier now than I used to, since I started coming in early and taking a short lunch.

But I wanted to have time to stop by the library and pick up a book that's on reserve for me, before they send it back, and I think Lut wants to stop by Costco to get some essentials.

Really, I just want to be less stressed about work. I can't remember the last time I got this tense over my job. What really annoys me about it is that I shouldn't let work bother me. (Is this a vicious cycle? Being annoyed that I'm annoyed? Could be. Better watch that.) Work is probably one of the least important forces in my life. Any one of a dozen friends has the power to hurt me a lot more than my job can -- the worst they can do is fire me. Unemployment doesn't scare me. I suppose it should, but it doesn't. I have a little savings. I could get by for a couple of years until I got another job, if I had to. In the grand scheme of things, meeting my monthly deadlines on Prophecy is probably more important to me.

And it's not as if the bank would fire me over, well, pretty much anything that I'd actually do. I mean, if I embezzled money or attacked my coworkers, or something of that nature, I'm sure they'd fire me -- but those aren't things I'd do. The worst I'm going to do is get something wrong. Put one of these umpteen loans down on a report for the wrong amount. Forget to update a figure. Little stuff like that. Very little stuff. Or maybe I won't finish a report in time; well, no, I'm only doing these two and they're already roughly done, so the worst I'm going to do is mess up and not have them done right with all the correct final figures in them. I'm sure that will be bad. I'd probably be mildly reproached for it. But ... um. So what? So I'll learn from my mistakes, get more practice at it, and be better next time. No big deal.

So why can't I just relax? Why do I feel wound up tighter than one of Vinnie's ringlets? Ah, well. This too shall pass.
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