Rowyn (rowyn) wrote,

Outrageous If True

Posted here to rescue it from eventual Twitter Oblivion.

LeDiva: Dear news organizations: There are infinitely many things that are "outrageous, if true". Maybe try seeing if they're true before reporting?
Rowyn: The CIA is funding efforts to reenact The Hobbit's "Battle of Five Armies" using Central American nations. #OutrageousIfTrue
Rowyn: Writer @BardBloom planning to feed its followers tomatoe(sic) and lightning bolt sandwiches. #OutrageousIfTrue
Bard Bloom: @LadyRowyn Both "tomato" and "tomatoe" are options --
Rowyn: Red Cross diverts funds from disaster-relief programs to secret disaster-creation programs. #OutrageousIfTrue
Bard Bloom: Obama orders caryatids removed from all federal buildings! #OutrageousIfTrue
Rowyn: Apple patents process of "waiting in order to receive a good or service", sues entire country. #OutrageousIfTrue
Lediva: This is why I refuse to wait for any reason.
Rowyn: Apple patents process of "receiving a good, service, or any tangible or intangible thing, without waiting", sues @LeDiva #OutrageousIfTrue
Bard Bloom: Nasoya tofu contains polypeptides, polysaccharides, and mongoose extracts! #OutrageousIfTrue
Bard Bloom: Yugoslavian coffee beans are actually colorized lima beans! #OutrageousIfTrue
Bard Bloom: So-called "polio vaccine" actually immunizes against *polo*. #OutrageousIfTrue
Rowyn: NY Times fires all investigative reporters, replaces with ex-Weekly World News writers. #OutrageousIfTrue
Bard Bloom: NASA reveals that moon landings faked — they are records of landing on Jupiter's moon Io. #OutrageousIfTrue
Krud #OutrageousIfTrue Pterodactyls and hummingbirds share 99.6% of the same DNA.
Bard Bloom: Delta Air Lines is run by secret consortium of pterodactyls, for their dining convenience. #OutrageousIfTrue
LeDiva Jem & Jerrica are actually the same person with different makeup & jewelry. #OutrageousIfTrue #TrulyTrulyTrulyOutrageous
Rowyn: Congressmembers all replaced by evil clones from alternate universe Dr. Doom. Public approval rating rises 15 points. #OutrageousIfTrue
Bard Bloom: Putin uses the Б-word, the й-word, *and* the д-word when talking about Kim Jung Eun! #OutrageousIfTrue
Rowyn: Unicode integral part of MI6's secret Babylon Project, designed to obfuscate and prevent all human interąčťïœn. #OutrageousIfTrue
Bard Bloom: I guess that "Less than 50% of my fans want to kill me by lightning" will do as a measure of success for the day.
LeDiva: @BardBloom #OutrageousIfTrue
Bard Bloom: @LeDiva No, it's just … true ...
Rowyn: @BardBloom @LeDiva I am outraged! So yes.

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