I tried calling my brain instead. "Hello, brain? Look, I'm not gonna be able to be depressed today."
Me: "I've got things I have to do, and I just don't have time -- "
Brain: "Well you MAKE time! You've been not-depressed for months!"
Me: "See, about that, I was kind of hoping to stay that way -- "
Brain: "HAHA NO CHANCE. You don't get to call off from depression. DEPRESSION COMES TO WORK YOU."
Me: "No it doesn't! You're not the boss of me!"
Brain: "I totally am. Grow some scales and take your depression like a dragon."
Me (smiles): "'Dragon' is a way better metaphor for that than 'man'."
Brain: "Yeah it is -- hey! Stop with that smiling! You're scheduled for some depression here!"
Me: "Sorry. Taking it like a dragon. I'm just gonna fly around in here. Wheee!"
Brain: "Dammit. Don't think you're off the hook here! DEPRESSION WAITS."
Me: "Lalalala can't hear you, too busy breathing fire."