Rowyn (rowyn) wrote,

Writing Exercises: Revision, part 2

Write a paragraph about anything at all

We were at it for nearly another hour, but we got absolutely no where. Or, I should say, I was at it. All right, Mr. Corning offered advice and tips, and suggested meditations and we went back and forth through some diagnostics, but it doesn't really matter what he did or I did. What counts is what I didn't do: Magic.

Decide what you want out of the paragraph, and re-write it with that in mind
It ought to sound a bit more like Bia. In some ways, I like this raw, rambling format; I could tighten it, but I think that would make it sound less like Bia. I'll try spicing it with some more details and making the prose livelier. And I want Bia to sound more frustrated.

Nearly an hour later, we'd gotten absolutely nowhere. Or, I should say, I had gotten nowhere. Mr. Corning double-checked that I had the Star in mind (I did), that I was snapping my fingers and enunciating properly (I was) and that I was pushing the thaumatic point forward in my mind .... which, apparently, I wasn't. I was trying -- oh, how I was trying! -- but the Star was as fixed and immovable in my mind as stars are in the heavens above. I couldn't budge it. I could imagine budging it, which is what I tried doing, but I could tell it wasn't the same as really moving it. It's like the difference between visualizing raising your arm, and lifting it. It is not the same. Mr. Corning offered me advice, and at his instruction I went through Traynor's Meditation to clear it, brought it back, tried again, failed. Then he had me go through Poornow's Hymn, an older type of meditation, and I tried again after that, and -- oh, it doesn't matter what he did or I did. What counts is what I didn't do:

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